


Salty

by Drosolmire



Series: The Bunnyribbit Collection [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Ana likes tranquilizing people, Basically, F/M, bunnyribbit, daddy pls, everyone's here lol, idk "Reach for the sky"?, mama Mercy, slight Pharah/McCree, what ship name is that?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 02:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7599439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drosolmire/pseuds/Drosolmire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Could you pass me the salt, daddy?” Hana’s voice cut through his mind, and Lucio unconsciously reached for the salt shaker to his left.<br/><br/>“Ah-“ drawing his hand back when it had made contact with Soldier:76’s, Lucio’s eyes widened in fear when he had just noticed what he was doing.<br/><br/>“What do you think you’re doing, son?” Soldier:76 stared him down, even though Lucio was completely avoiding eye contact.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Salty

**Author's Note:**

> Here, have some more Bunnyribbit, friends!  
> Inspired by [this adorable li'l piece](https://66.media.tumblr.com/97d84fab7354deca4b2ddf1b85e1af03/tumblr_o8uy4q1aWl1vtt4lno1_500.png) (I have no idea how this exploded into a four thousand word fic, though).

They’ve finally crossed the line.

Heavy and erratic breathing emanated through the room; with only the buzzing and the whirring of Hana’s computer to accompany it.

They’ve tread upon unknown territory now.

“ _God, you’re so beautiful-_ “ breathing huskily into her ear, Lucio gripped tighter on the sheets below him; sticking his tongue out a bit as he started playing with her ear using his teeth.

This was new to the both of them.

Mewling out as she felt shocks of electricity jolt through her body, Hana let out a strained breath when Lucio had started massaging her chest.

They’ve become something more than friends.

Stopping to stare at her face and eyes and cheeks and nose, the DJ furrowed his brows a bit; his lust overwhelming him when he had smacked his lips against hers hungrily.

Moaning out his name in his mouth as she started playing with her nether regions herself, Hana’s free hand gripped onto his shoulder; her grip tightened when his fondling had become more aggressive.

Pushing away slowly and smiling at the woman underneath him, Lucio quickly retreated away from her face and towards her legs; spreading them ever so slightly when Hana had suddenly shut them close.

Withdrawing her hand away and silently giving him the signal to proceed, Hana furrowed her brows as she watched Lucio work; slowly taking off her now (embarrassingly) drenched panties.

Covering her face with her hands, she squealed in embarrassment when the DJ had stared for far too long, making her slam her thighs against the sides of his head.

Taking her hands away from her face and quickly apologizing, Hana sat up and reached for his temples gingerly; making Lucio laugh at the gesture, reassuring her that he was fine.

Telling her to lie down and smiling when she had done so, Lucio had started to service her; giving long teasing licks by her entrance whilst his thumb drew circles over her clitoris.

Pushing one finger in her opening and smiling at the reaction that he had garnered, Lucio added another finger inside and started suckling at her clitoris; making Hana shriek out in pure pleasure.

Every thrust of his fingers came faster and faster, quickly sending Hana off the edge.

“ _Oh my God, daddy~!_ ” she managed to scream out before a string of incoherent noises and Korean curses left her lips; liquid gushing from her nether regions which drenched Lucio’s face completely.

Blinking his eyes a few times as her juices dripped off of his goatee, Lucio was more confused than aroused at that moment.

“Daddy?”

 ---

Hana groaned while her face was buried in her arms as she swung her feet underneath her.

“H-hey, it’s not that big of a deal,” Lucio smiled nervously, taking a sip from his mug as he pursed his lips “We kinda… _let loose_ at moments like those ‘cause of all the pleasure, yeah?”

The mech pilot shot her head upward, tears forming at the corner of her eyes “I called you _daddy_ of all things!”

Taking another sip from his mug, Lucio shrugged “I don’t mind, really,”

And Lucio wasn’t lying. Hearing Hana call out to him like that earlier that day turned him on _so bad_ for some strange reason.

Well, looks like he’s got a new fetish.

Groaning again and slamming her face onto the table, Hana cursed in Korean when her face had _actually_ slammed on the table; making her lift her face up groggily whilst she rubbed gingerly on her forehead.

Stifling a snicker at her, Lucio smiled nervously instead when she had turned to glare at him.

“Oh, dear, I have to prepare dinner soon-“

Mercy blinked her eyes a few times when she had seen two familiar faces sitting by the large dining table inside of Overwatch HQ’s mess hall; a smile gracing her lips when she had recognized the two.

“Lucio, Hana!” she greeted, placing the various paper bags she had brought in with her on the table that the two were currently occupying.

“Are you two hungry?” smiling apologetically at the two, the doctor clasped her hands together “Let me just get dinner ready and we could all eat toget-“

“Oh my, Hana!” the blonde gasped, rushing over to the younger female and placing her hands on Hana’s cheeks, Mercy furrowed her brows “Your forehead is red!”

Moving Hana’s face to the side slightly and checking on other parts of her face, Mercy’s brows furrowed downward even more “Does it hurt? Where did it come from? Are you feeling well? Did you fall off the bed again-“

“I’m fine, Angela!” Hana spat out, shrinking back slightly when she had noticed the harshness of her tone “I-I just hit myself,” she explained, her eyes widening in surprise when the older female had pressed her lips against her forehead.

“Well, you should be more careful, okay?” the blonde smiled at her, though the worry was still etched on her face.

“Let me just prepare dinner,” turning back to the paper bags and removing all of their contents, Mercy tapped at her chin.

“Lucio, would you be a dear and help me out preparing these?” turning towards the DJ with a smile, the blonde picked up one can of instant meatloaf and furrowed her brows when she had not remembered buying it.

“Yeah, sure, doc,” standing up from his seat and taking a look at the ingredients, Lucio whistled.

“Ya sure have a lot of stuff here,” chuckling, the DJ took one can of instant food as well “What’s the occasion?”

“Oh, we’re all having dinner,” the doctor smiled, turning around to get a pan from the cabinet above the stove.

Lucio furrowed his brows; what did she mean by that?

 ---

It was an understatement to say that the large dining table by the mess hall was almost always empty; with only two to three people ever using it at any given time.

This was culture shock to Lucio; much more than when he had first joined Overwatch.

Literally all of their operatives sat at the table, each doing their own thing; speaking with their seatmates, tinkering with their devices or simply waiting for the food to be prepared.

He had gone on missions with all of them before, but he’s never really had the chance to eat with all of them at the same time-

“Kindly put this on the table, dear,” Mercy handed a steaming pot to Lucio, snapping the DJ out of his thoughts.

“’Scuse me,” he smiled apologetically, leaning down and placing the pot in the middle of the table as much as his short stature could.

“That smells absolutely fine!” Tracer beamed, shooting up from her seat to take a look inside of the pot.

“Well, don’t mind if I do!” Junkrat stood up as well, licking his lips as he started to reach for the inside of the pot with his _grimy and greasy_ hands-

“Jamison!” Mercy planted an arm to her hip, pointing a wooden spoon towards the Junker “Wash your hands before you start picking at the food!”

The blond furrowed his brows. Feeling rebellious, he glared at Mercy as he slowly dipped his hands into the pot-

Only to fall on his behind when Roadhog had socked him in the gut.

“Ei, ‘Hog! The hell wazzat for?!” standing up to his full height and frowning at his partner, Junkrat huffed.

Snorting, the large Junker jabbed a finger over his shoulder, pointing towards the direction of the sinks.

“Ye want me to wash me hands too?” groaning in exasperation when Roadhog had nodded slightly, Junkrat shook his head “Awright, fine! Don’t get yer knickers in a twist,”

Smiling and placing a hand on Junkrat’s shoulder when he had started washing his hands, Mercy continued finishing up with the preparation of their dinner.

“It’s just like the good old days, right, friend?” Reinhardt’s voice boomed, making Lucio turn to look at the older man.

“Yes indeed,” Trobjorn nodded his head “Ah, those were the days,”

Smiling a bit as he watched the two elders reminisce about the past, the DJ’s eyes wandered off to the other occupants of the table.

McCree sat with his legs propped up on the table, with his hat tilted down; effectively covering his face. The gunslinger had his hands crossed on his chest, and Lucio assumed him to be asleep.

The Shimada brothers were actually rather behaved around one another right now, with Genji explaining something to Hanzo; eventually leading to the cyborg’s laughter and the bowman’s irritation.

Zenyatta sat beside Hanzo, conversing with Bastion who sat beside the monk with beeps and buzzing noises. Furrowing his brows a bit, Lucio wondered why exactly where they there-

Seeing as how robots don’t need to eat _at all._

Hana sat beside Bastion, conversing animatedly with Soldier:76; who looked more like he wanted to be sleeping in his quarters than being here right now.

Tracer dashed around to and from the cooking area, gawking and gasping in wonder in the many food items that Mercy and Mei brought to the table; stopping from zipping around the place from time to time to converse with the other people occupying the dining space.

Junkrat finally came back to his seat, groaning and grumbling something under his breath and sticking his tongue out in disgust as he looked at his clean hands; with Roadhog snorting condescendingly at him.

Winston was preoccupied with a book that he was reading, but easily caught an excited Tracer when she had almost landed face first on one of the dishes on the table; setting the British woman back to her feet with ease without so much as looking at her.

Zarya laughed boisterously as she roughly patted Symmetra on the back; placing her large arm on the table as she continued to listen to the other woman’s stories.

Lucio furrowed his brows at the prospect of having dinner with a Vishkar agent, but cast his dark thoughts away when said agent had noticed him staring at their direction.

Symmetra averted her eyes for a second, turning to look back at Lucio and waving at him shyly; making the DJ feel blood rush to his face when he had noticed that he was staring.

Waving back with an apologetic smile, Lucio sighed. Perhaps not everyone in the Vishkar organization was bad-

“Frog man!” Zarya called out, snapping Lucio out of his thoughts again “Could you perhaps lends me your-“ furrowing her brows a bit, the pink haired woman tapped at her chin “ _What was that you called again-?_ ”

“Ah, дa, _hot beats!_ ” Zarya smiled widely at him, making Lucio blink his eyes a few times.

“ _Hot beats?_ ” Hana stifled a snicker, making the DJ smile nervously.

“A-ah, yeah, sure!” Lucio answered  back to the Russian woman, making her give him a thumbs up.

“Psh, hot beats,” Junkrat suddenly cackled “The only thing hot in this room is-“

Slamming his RIP tire onto the table and hooking his finger onto the string trigger, Junkrat laughed maniacally “Is me explosions-!”

“Junkrat,” Soldier:76 opened one eye lazily “No explosions on the dining table,” the older man commanded, making the Australian slightly quiver in his place.

“Awright, sheesh,” placing his RIP tire back where he took it, Junkrat crossed his arms and pouted “Ye blokes never let me have me fun,”

Lucio stifled a laugh at the exchange, feeling a smile creep up his lips as he remembered his family. They weren’t the most well off, but they always had fun and great times.

His companions in Overwatch gave off a similar feeling of belongingness; a sort of warmth you could rely on after a hard day’s work-

“Dinner’s almost ready,” Pharah commanded, nudging her seemingly sleeping mother using her elbow.

“Hey-“ furrowing her brows when she had turned to look at Ana, Pharah sighed in exasperation when her mother had her head thrown back, a sliver of drool running down her cheek.

“Honestly,“ pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her mother slightly by the shoulders, Pharah groaned “Mom, dinner’s almost ready-”

Ana’s eyes shot open and she quickly pointed her tranquilizer gun at the nearest person that wasn’t Pharah “What’s that? You want to marry my daughter?!”

“Mother, please-“ Pharah pursed her lips when McCree had laughed, tipping his hat upward to reveal that he wasn’t, in fact, sleeping.

“Well, if you’re offerin’ I s’pose I wouldn’t mind,” the gunslinger readjusted the toothpick that was inside of his mouth.

“You’ve always been quite the joker, Jesse,” Ana visibly relaxed, placing her gun inside of its holster again.

The older woman then furrowed her brows “Ah, but are you two dating?”

Furrowing her brows and feeling blood rush to her cheeks, Pharah shook her head “No!”

“We’re a bit too old to be datin’, Ana,” the gunslinger shrugged, smiling nervously at Pharah when she had turned to glare at him.

“Oh, that’s a shame,” the sniper shook her head “I was looking forward to having grandchildren before I died,”

Snorting, Pharah shook her head “Knowing you, you’re not going to die anytime soon,”

“Dinner’s ready!” Mercy called out, snapping Lucio out of his observing and making him rush to the doctor; taking a pan from her and placing in on the table.

Mei scurried to and from the table, placing small pots and pans on it and finally stopping to look for a seat to no avail; making the climatologist huff.

Furrowing her brows when she had seen no vacant seat, Mei surmised that she would just take some food and go back to her room-

“Out of seats, love?” Tracer suddenly appeared in front of her “You can take mine if you want!”

“A-ah, thank you, Tracer,” Mei bowed as thanks, making her way towards Tracer’s seat and-

Oh no.

“Oh, hey Snowflake!” Junkrat turned to look at her, meat and vegetables flew off of his mouth.

“Wazzat ‘Hog? I shouln’t speak with me mouth full?” laughing at the other Junker’s advice, Junkrat shook his head “What are you, me pops?”

Smacking Junkrat behind his head and making his face slam onto his food, Roadhog laughed at the mess that the blond had made.

Mei pursed her lips as she finally took a seat beside Junkrat, feeling uncomfortable sitting beside such a dangerous man-

Slowly lifting his face from his food and turning to glare at Roadhog, Junkrat’s fingers twitched “Why I ought’a-“

“Jamison!” Mercy called out to the Junker again “No fighting while eating!”

Turning to look at the doctor and instantly having his bravado melted away by her matronly gaze, Junkrat furrowed his brows and pouted.

“B-But he started it!” pointing an accusatory finger at the larger Junker, Jamison’s frown grew when Roadhog had chuckled.

“Mako,” clearing her throat, Mercy raised an eyebrow when Roadhog had slowly turned to look at her.

“Apologize to Jamison,” she commanded, making the whole atmosphere at the table tense.

The large Junker rubbed at the back of his neck and leaned down to Junkrat’s level slightly.

“Sorry,”

Snickering, Junkrat nudged Roadhog’s arm with his elbow “Aw, y’know I could neva stay angry at you Roadie!”

Humming to herself, Mercy clasped her hands together “That’s good!”

Mei blinked her eyes a few times, taken aback by how behaved Junkrat’s been and at how Mercy managed to seemingly turn the Junkers back into snivelling children.

Turning to look at the doctor, Mei furrowed her brows. How _did_ she do that?

Lucio took a bite from his food, amused by the scene that had just transpired before him. Tracer had seemingly snuck a seat beside Roadhog, who was taking up three seats; but the large man didn’t seem to mind.

Mercy taking care of the situation amazed the DJ; on and off the battlefield she treated each and every one of them like her own helpless children. Like a doting mother, he thought.

If she were the “mother” of Overwatch, Lucio’s mind thought who the father would be.

Perhaps Reinhardt? Or Soldier:76?

Soldier:76 seemed to be more viable; with his paternal side showing whenever he would give cover fire or plant his Biotic Field whenever someone needed it.

Plus the fact that Reinhardt was kind of like the grandfather everyone always wanted. He found it funny how the large man gave _all of them_ gifts last Christmas without fail.

“Could you pass me the salt, daddy?” Hana’s voice cut through his mind, and Lucio unconsciously reached for the salt shaker to his left.

“Ah-“ drawing his hand back when it had made contact with Soldier:76’s, Lucio’s eyes widened in fear when he had just noticed what he was doing.

“What do you think you’re doing, son?” Soldier:76 stared him down, even though Lucio was completely avoiding eye contact.

“I-I was just about to hand Hana the salt-“ the DJ quickly shut his mouth with both of his hands “I-I mean-“

“I know you were,” the old soldier’s eye twitched “But why?”

Hana took notice of this and soon her mouth fell agape “Ah! I-I don’t need the salt anymore!” she cried out, gripping onto Soldier:76’s shoulders and silently pleading for him to not kill Lucio right then and there.

“Care to explain yourself, son?” Soldier:76 continued to stare him down, his gaze unwavering and his presence suffocating.

“U-Uh, I-“

The salt shaker on the table suddenly burst; with the metal cap falling to the ground as the salt mixed with glass spread on the table.

Everyone turned to look at McCree, who seemed to be the reason why the salt shaker suddenly exploded.

Peacemaker in hand and a cold sweat running down the side of his face, the gunslinger quickly straightened his posture and hid his firearm.

“Jesse!” Mercy shot up from her seat “Why did you shoot the salt shaker?!” the doctor was utterly confused at the strange turn of events.

McCree gulped audibly and turned to look at Lucio, giving him a knowing, albeit nervous, smile.

“It’s, uh-“ wracking his thoughts for an acceptable answer, the gunslinger felt the hostility coming from Soldier:76 and decided to quell the older soldier’s palpable anger; and the best course of action was to get all of the attention to himself.

“High noon?” McCree smiled nervously and flinched in surprise when Mercy had furrowed her brows at him.

“What-?” the doctor was utterly confused by McCree’s actions and was about to scold him when she was cut off from her words.

“Oi, why does _he_ get t’ shoot stuff and I dun get t’ blow anythin’ up?!” frowning and pointing his hands towards McCree, Junkrat shook his head when Mercy had simply frowned at him.

“Why are you even here?” Hanzo furrowed his brows “You don’t even need to eat,”

“True,” Genji shrugged “I could never eat again after you killed me,”

“Why do you always insist on coming back to that topic?!” standing up from his seat and seething at the cyborg, Hanzo frowned when Genji had stood up to meet his eyes.

“I don’t know, because you _killed me?!_ ” the argument from the Shimada brothers had set off Overwatch’s fuse, making the whole dining table erupt into chaos.

“Calm down, my student-“ Zenyatta was cut off from his words when Hanzo had fallen back on him due to Genji forcefully shoving his brother.

“Oh, dear,” the monk covered his head with his arms, the commotion around the table escalating and escalating as each second passed by.

“Still such a great shot, Jesse,” Ana chortled, placing a hand on her daughter’s shoulder “Perhaps you could teach my daughter a thing or two about accuracy-“

“Or just make me some grandchildren, I’m fine with that, too,”

“M-mother!” Pharah furrowed her brows, explaining once more that she and McCree weren’t dating.

“I’m flattered, Ana,” the gunslinger tipped his hat “But this ain’t the time to be discussin’ grandchildren-“

“Jesse!” Mercy huffed, planting her arms to her hips “Why did you do that?!”

“Uh-“

“Honestly, please?” the doctor huffed; feeling betrayed that a single shot from the gunslinger could break the whole peaceful atmosphere of the dinner that they were having.

“Y’see-“ McCree was cut off from his words when Junkrat had laughed hysterically, the undeniable clank of his RIP tire resounding on the table.

“Well, it’s been fun and all, but let’s end this with a bang, yeah?!”

“Junkrat, no!” Mei reached for his arm, in hopes of stopping the Junker.

“Junkrat, yes!” the blond’s eyes shone dangerously as he pulled the trigger for his favorite explosive.

“Hiya!” Tracer waved at Junkrat, taking the RIP tire from his hands and disappearing in a flash of blue.

A few seconds later, a large explosion came from outside of the building, with Tracer suddenly coming back in the same blue flash as earlier.

“Hiy-“ Tracer was cut off from her words when the people on the table had started arguing again, with Zenyatta leaving with Bastion as the Shimada brothers decided to finish their argument with a good old fist fight.

Zarya laughed boisterously as she wrapped an arm around Symmetra, pointing out the scuffles happening around the table to the Vishkar agent; much to said agent’s dismay.

McCree was caught between the crossfire of Pharah, Mercy and Ana, and the gunslinger was tempted to Combat Roll away; but didn’t get any chance to when Ana had suddenly tranquilized him.

“Mother!” Pharah and Mercy gasped at the same time, turning to look at the sniper, who had a mischievous smile on her face.

“He’s just asleep, dear, don’t worry about it,” Ana placed her firearm back in its holster, watching Mercy panic slightly at the sight of the unconscious McCree.

Winston groaned as he took his plate and pushed all of the remaining food inside of his mouth, closing the book that he was reading and making his way towards Mercy.

“Splendid dinner,” he started, readjusting his glasses as he eyed the sleeping McCree “I will take him back to his room,”

Tossing the gunslinger over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, Winston gave a sympathetic gaze at the doctor “If you ever need help cleaning up, please don’t hesitate to ask me,”

As the large gorilla hopped away, Mercy fell to the ground, absolutely distraught at the chaotic turn of events.

“Jack, please!” Hana begged, trying to pull Soldier:76 away “It was a misunderstanding!”

“Th-that’s right sir Soldier:76!” Lucio’s lips quavered “I-I didn’t know what I was doing!”

Cracking his knuckles, Soldier:76 snorted “But I know what I’m going to do with y-“

Lucio frowned as he watched the old soldier fall to the ground; snores exiting his lips soon after he had made contact with the cold floor.

“Why do you keep shooting people?!” Pharah screamed at her mother, which didn’t douse her mischievous spirit one bit.

“Jack was going to kill the boy,” the sniper explained herself “I just put him to sleep, is all,”

Hana offered her hand to a stunned Lucio “L-let’s get out of here,” pointing towards the unconscious body of Soldier:76, the Korean gulped audibly “Before he gets up,”

Nodding his head frantically as he took her hand, the two scurried off to Hana’s room; a serious discussion about their pillow talk was badly needed.

“Oi, Snowflake, why the hell did ye freeze me limbs?!”

“It’s for everyone’s safety, Junkrat!”

“’Hog, gimme a hand here, will ya?!”

“…”

“You are a disgrace to the Shimada name!”

“I never liked that name, anyway!”

“You see, teleporter girl, you must not be afraid to do heavy lifting-“

“My limbs cannot handle the stress of heavy lifting! My muscles will tear and-“

“I’m going back to my room,”

“Wait, Pharah! At least promise me some grandchildren by next year!”

“The dinner…” Mercy sniffled, her eyes widening in surprise when a large hand had patted her comfortably on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it too much, dear,” Reinhardt smiled at her “I’m sure everyone is enjoying themselves-“

Torbjorn sighed, a smile tugging at his lips as he took a bite from his food “Just like the good old days,”

\---

\---

\---

“Chinese again?” Widowmaker raised an eyebrow in an unimpressed manner “Sooner or later you’re going to fall over and die from malnutrition,”

Slurping on the noodles, Reaper shrugged “I’m already dead,”

“...Right,” the sniper took a seat beside him, taking an unopened box of food on the table and helping herself to it.

**Author's Note:**

> but seriously, who calls their boyfriend "daddy" when they're having sex  
>  ~~idk never been in a relationship hahahaha killme~~


End file.
